In-Flight Movie Reviews

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Well it uh,.... it sure has been a while considering. I didn't exactly leave you guys off with the strongest of notes now did I?

RB'sB: What? Telling people that a good episode of one of their favorite cartoons doesn't exist and then not elaborate? What could possibly be low about that?

All sarcasm aside, it does feel good to get back into the swing of things after being gone for so long. With school coming to a close and my theater run of Treasure Island running smoothly, it's time to give you guys that journal you've been waiting for.

RB'sB: The best episodes of Gravity Falls season 2?

Again, no! I'm talking about all the movies I watched during my flights to and from Europe. I know that my trip was a month ago, but I still honestly have plenty to talk about with you guys after having watched nine movies total. Can ya really blame me? Twenty hours isn't very easy to pass by.

Enough stalling. Here's a mini review for every movie I watched on my plane rides!

The LEGO Ninjago Movie

The first LEGO movie was an untouchable masterpiece by every sense of the word. The next movie may not have been as powerful but still held onto the same spirit and was even funnier in some aspects. And the third LEGO movie was very very okay.

I was not too excited about the LEGO Ninjago movie when it was first announced. The animation looked stellar, but nothing else really stood out. Choosing Ninjago as the third film in the franchise by itself is a pretty perplexing move. I know the show has been around for a while, but I'm not sure if it's popular enough to warrant a movie. Hell, to even call this a Ninjago movie is honestly giving it too much credit. I've seen quite a bit of the show. It's not half bad. It just couldn't keep my interest. But even as a casual onlooker I could tell that this movie is pretty horrendous as an adaptation.

Not helping is that none of the voice actors from the show are in this film. This isn't the worst thing ever, but it's still really distracting. I know it's important to get big names for animated films, but MLP managed to keep the cast intact while still having celebrities. So why couldn't this?

Another drastic change are the characters themselves. The only things they have in common are the names. So that's one point on The Last Airbender at least, but names are the bare minimum. Not one person acts like their TV show counterparts. Jay has a Pakistani accent, Cole is a DJ, and Zane is still a robot but is nowhere near as subtle.

The plot as a whole also feels incredibly disjointed. It starts with news anchors telling us about the team, and the editing is so fast and nonsensical I can't wrap my head around any of it. Every ninja is severely inconsequential to the story and are literally summed up in one sentence. They could be cut out entirely and leave no difference. The entire first act feels incredibly rushed, which makes sense given that both fans and non fans of Ninjago don't know any of these characters. They're certainly not the same ones from the show. The pacing gets better after the first act ends, but everything still feels disconnected with a real lack of consequence.

That last part can be blamed on the humor. While the first two LEGO movies felt cohesive and decisive with their tone, Ninjago is all over the place going for "LOL, I'm so random" style humor that we're used to from most YouTube Poops. I love a good YTP, some of my favorite videos use this format.



That being said, I don't think that style meshes well with a feature length film. I can only take the randomness for so long before I start to get a migraine. Jackie Chan is not a very good storyteller.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. The film starts with Jackie Chan telling the story to a little boy that walks into his shop. It's not very interesting and doesn't reappear until the end of the film. I may have hated the kids from The Book of Life, but at least they were a consistent part of the film. Why was this even here? Was Warner Bros. trying to brag to DreamWorks about how they managed to use Jackie Chan more in one film than Kung Fu Panda did in three? (Seriously though, Jackie has more lines in The Nut Job 2 than in the entire KFP trilogy.)

That's not to say this film is without merits. I mentioned the ninjas are virtually nonexistent,and that's because this film is really about Lloyd and his evil dad Lord Garmadon. Most people say that their relationship is the best part of the film and.... yeah, it totally is. The have nice chemistry, and it's incredibly heart warming to see their bond grow throughout. It was one thing I honestly had to look forward to with this fiml other than the gorgeous animation. And I'd be lying if I said this film didn't have plenty of chuckle-worthy moments as well. Plus, the positive side of having such a fast pace is that scenes don't linger for too long and the jokes that don't work pass by very quickly.

Other than that, it's gonna take a while for the Warners to pick up the pieces of this mess. And I'm giving this film a 6/10.

The Hangover

A little something you all should know about me. Despite being an aficionado of all things comedy, I have missed out on a lot of what people consider to be the best comedies. Austin Powers, Hot Shots, Horrible Bosses, and until now, The Hangover. One thing I knew about this film was the countless amount of derivatives it inspired. The sub genre 'figuring out what happened last night" seemed to become prevalent thank to this film. And after watching it, I can see why.

The Hangover, above all else, is a really funny movie. And thank God for that. I have seen one too many of these kinds of films that try to be funny by being loud, raunchy, and nothing else of substance. But The Hangover had me in stitches the whole way through. 

I can't exactly say why this film is funny, but I think a good reason for this is the wonderful cast we follow. I am a big fan of Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis, and especially Ed Helms for more than obvious reasons. Unlike most adult comedies, these three are actually very likable. Phil is is fun  and foolhardy, but he won't be afraid to lay down the law and take things seriously. Stu is neurotic and immediately sympathetic due to the abusive relationship he's in (finally, an abusive female on male relationship that ISN'T treated like it's funny). And Alan is one of the most relatable characters ever for me due to his social ineptitude and need to fit in.

But seriously, and I know I'm biased, but Ed Helms probably has some of the best line deliveries here.



But here's the tricky part. My rule of thumb when it comes to rating comedies is that I'll generally only give them a nine at best. The main reason being that once you've seen them once, there isn't too much rewatch value once you know all the jokes. So is The Hangover more like This is the End and Ted where it's really funny but not much else, or does it fall more into the category of Scott Pilgrim and The Emperor's New Groove where I feel the need to watch it multiple times. I'm honestly not sure.

The Hangover, as funny as it is, really is about as good as its rated R counterparts and isn't even really as funny as most of them. But there's one thing it 's got that most others don't... a really good story. 

I've said before comedies don't need a story to be funny since jokes come first. But this film does such a good job of enfolding the two elements together. The hangover isn't just a comedy, it's a mystery thriller! I was right along with these characters wondering what the f*** was going on. Seeing all the pieces fall into place little by little was incredibly satisfying to watch. I felt like I was apart of these characters' journey, and it was honestly quite thrilling. So going back with the knowledge of hat happened is honestly a good enough experience to push this film into excellence for me! I'm ot sure if it's one of my favorites of all time, but we'll see how it holds up. And I'm giving this film a 10/10.

Justice League

I think I have some explaining to do. You all may recall a status update where I said Justice League wasn't that bad.

RB'sB: Wasn't that bad? Dude, you practically acted like it was one of the best superhero movies you've ever seen! 


All right, so I may have overreacted at the time when I first watched it. But can you really blame me? Why did it take DC THIS long to make a film that I liked? And upon further inspection, I can safely call this film a guilty pleasure of mine.

RB'sB: So then you don't like it?

Well, I mean, technically no. Justice League, objectively speaking, is a pretty crappy film. The acting and writing is just as bad as previous installments (double time for Wonder Woman's scenes), Steppenwolf might be one of the worst villains ever of all time, and the CGI is pretty laughable despite costing over $300 million! Remember when I talked about budget in my Captain Underpants review sying that the amount doesn't matter compared to how you use it. Well in this case, I think it does matter, because a film this expensive should not look so cheap! I haven't seen effects this bad since... well, the last DC movie!

But G** damn it, there's something about this movie that I just find endearing. Not even in a so bad it's good kind of way. I know thismight sound a little weird, but I think it's the tone. We finally have a DCEU film that has the proper tone of a superhero flick. I'm sorry, but unless your superhero film is as grounded as Logan, you just can't get away with all the melodrama prevalent in Man of Steel, Wonder Woman, and the other two that won't be mentioned here.

There's not much else to say other than this film was kind of fun. The action was goofy, the interactions were interesting, and the characters were even funny. Aquaman was definitely a highlight for me, especially one scene where he tries to act tough but starts opening up about his true feelings. It just takes him a whil to realize Diana used her lasso on him. That s*** is funny. XD

And hey, Superman is finally acting like Superman! Oh yeah, I guess that's a spoiler, but you all knew he was coming back. I guess I can appreciate that others had to actively bring him back as opposed to him saying, "Dah, dere was a malfunction in da Kryptonite and I was just in a healing coma!" Unfortunately, this doesn't solve his "over-powered" problem, which would'nt be an issue if all DCEU films' conflicts weren't solved by brute force. Hell, even Wonder Woman is solved with brute force!

RB'sB: Dude, we get it, you don't like Wonder Woman. Quit your b***hin' and move on.

...Yeah, okay. On the bright side, at least it looks like Teen Titans go to the Movies will be a much more faithful film to the comics. I'm not even kidding. This movie looks great.



And I'm giving this film a.... oh s***, I don't know what rating to give this film. Uh, raincheck?

Loving Vincent

I've heard "filmmaking marvel" thrown out several times, but I still was never entirely sure what the true definition of it was. After seeing Loving Vincent, I think I finally understand what people are talking aobut when they use this term.

For those who don't know, Loving Vincent is essentially a tribute to the brilliant artist Vincent Van Gogh, and every single frame is one hand drawn oil painting. You may have heard reviewers compare some films to a moving painting. Well, this film literally is one, and it is beautiful! It's quite clear that a lot of love and care went into every single frame, and I honestly don't think we'll ever get anything like this. And if we do, it'll likely just be deemed a rip off.

The story itself is very compelling. I was as intrigued as the main character to keep peeling more and more layers off of this mysterious man. The conclusion to his story may be bittersweet, but it doesn't feel too dour.

However, there was one thing I was afraid of coming into this film, and my fears were kind of confirmed. This movie, much like Baby Driver, feels very style over substance. I say this because without the unique aesthetic, I doubt I would've been as invested in this film as I was, and that is a pretty big issue. 

I don't want to s*** on the story too much, but it's just not the kind of thing that I'm into. Nevertheless, I'm still very happy to have watched this film, especially since I had just gotten back from a museum that featured many of his paintings. How apt! And I'm giving this film an 8 out of 10.

The Princess Bride

Yet another beloved classic that I somehow hadn't seen yet. Now, you all know I'm not too afraid to voice an unpopular opinion. I live for those moments. I say this because I thought The Princess Bride was amazing... right up until Wallace Shawn's character died.

Up to that point, I was having a blast with everyone. Westley and Buttercup are adorable, and they don't get too cringey with their love thanks to the kids from The Book of Life done a thousand times better in the form of Fred Savage! This kid was much less annoying, and his relationship with the grandfather felt genuine. It also helps that when they cut to him it wasn't annoying or too distracting from the story.

But the real stars for me are the three outlaws. Fezzik is a gentle giant and is acted surprisingly well by Andre, Inigo needs no real introduction due to how cool and relatable his arc is, and Fizzini is (say it with me now) inconcievably wonderful!

But that's the problem. Once Fizzini is axed off, I just wasn't as entertained as before. I'd like to quote my friend Aston here (who was talking about Deadpool at the time). "This movie unfortunately blew its load way too early." And that's pretty disappointing.

For one, I started to think about all the feminists rallying for stronger female characters, and I think Buttercup may be one of those reasons. I feel no shame in saying that she reminds of Elise from Sonic '06 in that she doesn't do anything to help. For example, when William is attacked by a rodent of unusual size, she just kind of stands back while he gets mauled. And then when the creature starts coming towards her, she calls out for his name despite him having a massive bite wound. I could be remembering the scene wrong, but there were plenty of other moments like this where she has to be saved because of her total lack of skill.

Also, I cannot stand the story trope of someone killing themselves just because they can no longer be with their loved one. I know it's supposed to show how much they cannot live without each other, but I find that mindset to be very unhealthy. To all my single watchers reading this, you don't need someone else to make you whole. You are already a full person, and it's up to you to find someone else who is already whole. Otherwise, your relationship will be very unhealthy and even dangerous. In this case, suicidal-dangerous. So please don't feel ashamed or incomplete for being single.

One last minor gripe that felt a lot bigger for me was how they handled the Prince's punishment for all the crap he did. After being put into a machine specifically designed to make you feel everlasting pain, Westley says they should tie him up and leave him. Seriously?! That's it?! I know this sounds very minor, but think about all the greatest villains in history. Odds are that at the end of the film they wre given some sort of comeuppance that was ridiculously satisfying. That's what catharsis is all about! Bill Cipher gets punched in the eye, Dr. Facilier taken to the other side, Frollo burns in flames, Aku is viciously stabbed to death, and so many more! Tying your villain up and leaving him in his own castle where someone would probably let him loose anyway is NOT satisfying.

So yeah, I totally think this movie is a classic... as long as we're talking about the first act. And I'm giving this film a 7 out of 10.

The Hitman's Bodyguard

A film about Deadpool and Nick Fury teaming up? How could this not be critically acclaimed?! In all seriousness, I wasn't exactly anxious to this film considering the middling reviews it got. But some of my friends apparently watched it on the ride to Europe, and they couldn't stop raving about this film. 

Well, they were so emphatic that I had to see it myself. So I guess this means my friends are the equivalent of a clickbait website.



Luckily, unlike most clickbait sites, I wasn't disappointed. But I also wasn't as big a fan either. The Hitman's Bodyguard is an okay comedy film mixed with a fantastic action film! Most of the comedy, while never cringey, isn't anything special, and I can't think of a single memorable line. But I did greatly enjoy the scenes where Ryan and Samuel's characters were talking and learning more about each other.

In fact, their dynamic as a whole is very interesting to watch. There's never really a point where they become "friends" until the very end, and even then you could argue it's more of a colleague relationship like Batman and Superman as opposed to George and Harold. This dynamic also helped excuse the "split-up" scene, because they were never friendly with each other to begin with. They just hate each other, and this was the tipping point for both characters. Sure, they rejoin, but again, they do it because they have s*** to do.

This film has surprisingly huge stakes. Gary Oldman is a formidable dictator, and he once again shows off his fantastic accent range. Plus, the mortality rate and destruction help add to the seriousness of the conflict. And things never get too melodramatic thanks to the dynamic between our two leads. Even though they're not very funny, they're still entertaining.

But the action in this film is some of the best I've ever seen. There is a lot of hand to hand and close quarters combat, and the editing doesn't fall into the usual cliches of shakiness and too many cuts. At least not too much. Every stunt, explosion, crash, punch, and shot feels ridiculously real, and I was only taken out of the action a couple of times. Like that one point in the trailer where Ryan Reynolds is launched out of the car and immediately gets back up. Yeah, you're not walking for a while after that bub.

So I guess you could call this one of my films that I like that everyone else hates. Fine by me, that just means I won't have to share it. MWHAHAHA!!!! And I'm giving this film an 8 out of 10.

Django Unchained

About a month ago, I realized something kind of strange. I hadn't seen a single Quentin Tarantino film in my life. Not one! Sure he tried to justify the actions of a statutory rapist, but he's still one of the most influential directors of all time.

So then I watched Inglorious Basterds. Masterpiece. Both Kill Bill films. Super cool. The Hateful Eight. Fine. And Django Unchained. Pretty good. 

I don't think it's quite as good as most people like :iconnegan1994: say it is, but I certainly think there are plenty of parts that deserve that reputation. As expected, this film is bloody, violent, and holds no bars. Quentin really is a master at not only making scenes as violent as possible, but also making them super cathartic. You've got Nazis, murderers, wedding crashers, and now slave owners. What's next, cult leaders?

RB'sB: Well, his next film is gonna be about Charles Manson. So...

Holy crap! See what I mean guys?! Watching Quentin rewrite history like this is so freaking cool! And as expected, we've got some pretty cool characters to boot. Unsurprisingly, Cristoph Waltz steals the show as the German assassin who hates slavery yet uses it to his advantage.

Dr. Schultz: But, that being said, I still feel very guilty about it.

I love that line. Candie and Stephen are wonderful antagonists, and I honestly had no idea that such a relationship between master and slave existed. I honestly can't think of another movie about slavery where a black man is one of the villains. Unless we're counting The Birth of a Nation, but we don't talk about that film.

Hell, this film even fixes a problem I have with The Princess Bride in the form of Django.... 's wife. How? Because she gets just as punished and abused as Django himself, arguably even moreso! Because of this, even though we don't spend much time with her, I feel way more sympathy towards than Buttercup. Physical abuse can go a long way when it comes to sympathy in your film. I mean f***, the first shot we get with Buttercup is her yelling at Westley to do stuff. Hildi's first shot is her getting branded in the f***ing face! (I could be wrong, but it's one of the first shots at least)

However, this film isn't one of my favorite Tarantino flicks for a few reasons. One, it honestly feels a bit too long. Sure, it's around the same length as his other films, but there was a point where I felt like thplot could've ended but just kind of didn't. They kind of do this in Captain Underpants when Mr. Krupp accidentally makes Poopypants huge, but that made more sense because the film is around 90 minutes. Django Unchained, however, is way over 120 minutes, so it just felt unecessary.

Also, and I'll probably get disagreed with on this, but I didn't find Django himself to be that interesting of a character. I'm sure part of it was how Dr. Schultz was stealing most of the show, but another reason is that I don't find Jamie Foxx to be that good of an actor. I don't know, something about his articulation and pacing just rubs me the wrong way for some reason. And once Dr. Schults (spoilers) gets killed, Django has to carry the rest of the film by himself, and it's just not as interesting. Fortunately, unlike with Fizzini's death, this happened much later in the film, so it wasn't a huge deal breaker.

This movie is definitely above The Hateful Eight, but just a bit below Kill Bill. And I'm giving this film an 8.5 out of 10.

All right, that's all of them! How do they rank?

7. Justice League
6. The LEGO Ninjago Movie
5. The Princess Bride
4. Loving Vincent
3. The Hitman's Bodyguard
2. Django Unchained
1. The Hangover

RB'sB: Didn't you say you watched 9 films?

Oh yeah, I just rewatched Captain Underpants and Coco. My opinion hasn't changed on the former, and I appreciate the latter even more now. And there you have it!

RB'sB: I still think it's a bad idea to post this review without addressing The Loud House dude.

Whatever, I'm already posting it. To quote Bubsy, "What could possibly go wrong?"

RB'sB: I've got a baaad feeling aobut this.


© 2018 - 2024 RaccoonBroVA
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JoyofCrimeArt's avatar
Great review as always, man. For Ninjago, while I haven't seen it or much of the show. I think that the movie isn't suppose to be an adaptation of the show. Rather, the show and the movie are both just adaptations of the same toy line. Like how the Micheal Bay Transformer films and the Transformers Prime animated series have nothing to do with each other despite running at the same time. 

As for everything else, the only film here I've seen is the Princess Bride, which I found...fine. But still, review sounded really good man. And I hope you enjoyed our trip to Europe! :D