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RaccoonBroVA

Here goes nothing.
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Hey everybody, Carrick 'RaccoonBro' Inabnett here, and me and my brother just got back from seeing Avengers Endgame for the fifth time!

RB'sB: Dude, I know I don't throw this word around often, but can I get a 'flawless masterpiece?'

Here here! I don't care what anyone says, this is the perfect Avengers movie!

RB'sB: Like the scene where Tony has to-

Whoa whoa! Spoilers man. Didn't you see the advertisements online?

RB'sB: Oh whatever, the Russos themselves said anything is fair game after only two weeks. Besides, if someone hasn't seen this film by now, they're never going to.

Oh who am I kidding, I can't hold it in anymore. Remember when Cap was in the elevator and tricked everyone into thinking he was apart of Hydra?

RB'sB: Or when Thor got to speak with his mom again for the first time in what was at least a decade?

That scene made me retroactively care about Dark World. Who does that?

RB'sB: It was so cathartic seeing Tony get to patch things up with his old man. Cap even got to finally have that dance!

And I don't think I cried more than during the funeral scene where the wreath passed by and it said, "Proof that Tony Stark has a heart."

RB'sB: Coco.

Oh yeah, I keep forgetting about what that film did to me. Regardless, I wouldn't change a single thing about this movie.

RB'sB: Yeah...

Something wrong dude?

RB'sB: Nothing, it's just... I mean, it's not even really the movie's fault but-

Let me guess, the time travel aspect?

RB'sB: Well actually I was gonna say the Fortnite reference, but yeah that works too.

Well I guess there's no better time to talk about one of the most divisive plot devices in media. Let's talk about time travel everybody.

It's a concept that's been around forever. Quantum Leap, Back to the Future, Doctor Who, and even Hot Tub Time Machine are all great examples of why this concept is used so much. The idea of traveling to previous historical events at any point in time or even characters interacting with themselves make for great set pieces and memorable stories. However, even though time travel can be super fun when done correctly, that hasn't stopped it from being one of the more controversial conventions. Simply put, time travel is kind of bull s***.

The more films and shows focus on the actual time travel itself as opposed to the characters, the more the cracks and seams start to become more and more noticeable, such as with Sonic 06, Red vs Blue, Terminator, and even Back to the Future to some extent. With all the confusing rules that are necessary to establish, it becomes far too easy for writers to trap themselves in a corner by being forced to break their own rules. You could go the Ocarina of Time route where everything's a loop, the Dragon Ball route where there are new universes, or the Back to the Future route where there are no rules. Any of these choices should be carefully followed if you really want to do a time travel story.

But in the end, even if you can't follow all these rules, as long as you keep the focus on the characters and set pieces, it shouldn't matter too much how many rules you break. So long as the story is good and you can maintain the illusion, you can still get scenes like the end of Endgame that make no logical sense but are still emotionally resonating.

That brings us to today's episode. And no, it's not the one you're thinking of. I don't think I'm ready for the internet s*** storm quite yet from getting into that controversial two parter. We're keepin' things simple with one of my favorite episodes of season 2. So let's see how the crew handles time travel in...... It's About Time!

We start with Spike having a spicy, or in this case icy, dream about him showing Rarity his ice cream house. Ho boy, I guess now's as good a time as any. I am incredibly mixed when it comes to the relationship between Spike and Rarity. It's that classic pairing cartoons seem to like doing where one party has a crush on the other, but for some reason or another it'd be impossible for them to be together. While Spike and Rarity aren't nearly as bad as Donnie and April from TMNT 2012 (that bigfoot episode made me ill), they aren't as good as Dipper and Wendy. One relationship clearly defines the status between the two and leaves nothing up for interpretation, and the other has no idea what the Hell it wants to be.

I'm just gonna ignore the fact that it's already kind of weird that Spike, a dragon, is attracted to someone of a different species and focus more on the way they act around each other (they're both sentient beings so whatever). Whenever Spike isn't a total zombie with hearts in his eyes, they're just as fun to watch as any of the other mane cast pairings. Does this mean I think they should be together? Not really. Again, it's kind of weird given the species gap (I've only seen Bojack Horseman make this concept work in a serious sense), but there's also clearly an age gap. At least I think so. Other than one throwaway line from Fluttershy saying she's a year older than Pinkie, the concept of age isn't all that clear in this show. But what is clear at least is that Spike is still a kid.

To summarize, I think these two are fine as friends even if the boundaries aren't that well defined, and the only times they're at their worst is whenever Spike gets a tad too creepy and Rarity takes advantage of his servitude. Let me know what you guys think because this topic has always interested me.

Spike gets woken up by Twilight's pacing. She just finished putting together a schedule for next month but never left time to schedule for the month after that.

RB'sB: Why is Twilight so worried? Didn't we just have this lesson back in Lesson Zero?

Well, not really. In Lesson Zero, Twilight didn't learn a damn thing. It was all of her friends that delivered the moral of taking your friends' worries seriously, even if it doesn't seem like a big deal. What seems like a small inconvenience to some can be a stressful situation to others. The only reason Twilight went as crazy in that episode as she did was because she felt alone in her troubles and no one other than Spike would take her seriously. Besides, this is only season 2. So her neurosis is a bit more forgivable here than it is in later seasons.

After coming up with a way to leave time for more scheduling, Twilight is suddenly interrupted by a giant ball of flashing light. It's Twilight! Except, not our Twilight. Considering the get up, it must be some Twilight from a distant dystopian future! Perhaps one where Chrysalis or Sombra take over!


Actually she's only from next Tuesday morning. Go figure.

Either way, it's clear that something bad happened, and future Twi is here to bring a warning. Unfortunately our Twi is too busy fan girling over the fact that time travel is actually possible, at least in a limited fashion. Honey, you don't even know the half of it. Because of the interruptions, future Twi is unable to get out her full message and can only say don't do something. But what could it be? What on Earth could have happened only a few days from now that leave Twi in such a frazzled state? It certainly got me intrigued when I first saw this episode. It must be something big if we're gonna introduce a concept as insane as time travel! Don't worry, I'll be getting more into that subject near the end. We also get some classic time dialogue where the characters are clearly as confused as we are.

Twilight: Oh, what a mess she is! ...I mean, I am... or I will be.

The question is, when a mess she is!

RB'sB: That's not grammatically correct you insolent f***-o.

We see Pinkie and Fluttershy carrying party supplies together when Twilight bursts in on the scene. As you can see, she's come to make an announcement.


Though that's admittedly hard to take seriously.

At first, nopony really takes her all too seriously, which is understandable given her get-up and the initial absurdity of her warnings. But once she becomes more adamant that she's not joking, her friends and everypony else take her concerns to heart. So as you can see, they didn't forget their lesson from last time. That kind of continuity is always appreciated.


"Run for your liiiiiiives!"

It's moments like that one and later where we quickly begin to realize that Pinkie is the absolute GOAT in this episode. What follows is a really fun montage of the entire town banding as one to work together with a bunch of little moments like Pinkie getting a rare hair cut to some subtle Rarijack teasing. Certainly more subtle than Rollercoaster of Friendship at least.

After everypony gives the all-clear, Twilight is still unconvinced that they've fully prevented the disaster. And then Cerberus shows up.

RB'sB: Whoa whoa, Cerberus?! You mean like, Greek mythology Cerberus, the one who guards Tartarus, another version of Hell? What is up with the dark lore in this show?!

Eh, don't be too freaked out. Tartarus is really just a room with a bunch of cages in it. At least it's more intimidating than Dragon Ball's version of Hell where they like to pump *clap* YOU UP!!! What's really important is the role Cerberus plays in this universe's version of Hell.

Twilight Sparkle: He's supposed to be guarding the gates of Tartarus. But if he's here, then all the ancient evil creatures that have been imprisoned there could escape and destroy Equestria!

Spike: Destroy Equestria?!

Twilight Sparkle: Yeah! Isn't it great? 

You sound really shaken up about it Twi :D (Big Grin)  Right before Cerberus can p*** on a building (I'm not kidding), Fluttershy is able to calm Cerberus down with her wicked good animal care skills. When it comes to moments like this, Fluttershy really is a low-key bad a**. She could tame just about anything! Take notes HowToBasic.



Now all they need is a way to get Cerberus back to his post. Luckily Pinkie has balls stashed all over Ponyville for any and all ball-related emergencies! Don't question it. I'm serious, don't. You might hurt yourself. Twilight lures Cerberus back before any of the monsters can escape. Or so we think at least. It's funny how such an underrated episode ends up becoming a lot more important later down the line. For those who don't know, this is the moment Tirek manages to escape from Tartarus. Now that's some damn good planning for the future. Take that everyone who thought this show should've ended when Twi got her wings! These ponies' stories aren't over yet! ...Wait a minute.

The next morning Twilight returns from her long journey. Ms. Sparkle, you are a f***in' trooper! Not many can say they made a journey like that overnight on foot. Or I guess on hoof in your case. Unfortunately Twi quickly realizes that they didn't change a damn thing. Now she has a tiny scar in the exact place future Twi did. By the way, it took me until now to finally realize that the scar came from the letter Spike just got in that moment. I just assumed she had gotten it offscreen during her trek. How was I supposed to know that? Who gets a paper cut from a rolled up scroll???

So what should she do now? Simple! The only way to solve the problem is by doing nothing.

RB'sB: Solving problems by doing nothing? Should I make a rain forest reference or a YouTube reference?

Either one is equally accurate. Obviously this notion is pretty ridiculous, which is why it makes sense that Spike and RD would take full advantage of it. Spike decides to eat an entire tub of ice cream and let it be future Spike's problem. More stuff to tie into the lesson for later it seems! But when Twi throws Spike off of herself, the force of hitting the wall accidentally makes him hit her with a flame ball, creating a mane cut just like future Twi. One detail I like is that when this happens, Dash and Spike are initially concerned for Twilight's well being. It's not until she starts talking normally that Rainbow begins to uncontrollably smile. Congrats Dashie, you're not a bad friend! Only a little bit of a jerk is all.


I'm not even at my full power!

With less and less options, Twilight agrees to go to a fortune teller's place, which is totally not just a scam probably. Oh, it's ran by Pinkie Pie you say? Well then this must be some crazy awesome fortune!

Pinkie Pie: *spooky* Look deep into the crystal ball... for soon it will reveal all! Ah, yes, I see something... It is a vision of the future... I see... you, Twilight. You will get a really cool birthday present next year...

Twilight: Yes, and?

Pinkie Pie: That's it.

Wow, Pinkie, you are awful at improv.


I think we could all use a laid back Madame Pinkie on our timelines right now.

Also this scene has some of my favorite background music. It uses the accordion to really drive home the absurdity and other-worldliness that Pinkie is going for with this shop of her's that she's clearly only using to flex her amazing birthday gift giving skills. Hey, whatever works for you. But after getting a warning from her Pinkie sense (continuity!), a flower pot falls on Twilight's head out of nowhere.

RB'sB: Oh no, the cartoon physics of this world have gotten so out of hand that even Pinkie herself is questioning the logic. What's even real anymore?!

Don't worry dude, it still fits the tone of this episode and even the show as a whole. It's not like something in Family Guy where most of the time it's super mundane and then we get a surreal as Hell visual gag out of nowhere. Which can either be really jarring, really hilarious, or both at the same time.



A little while later Pinkie goes to check on Twilight. Good friend points! Now, last time she started going crazy we could see it slowly building up over the course of the episode. Little details like her mane getting messy and her eyes twitching would constantly become more apparent every time she came back on screen. Here though, her change in demeanor is practically instant when compared to the last time we saw her. Which is understandable considering she hasn't slept in at least three days!

Twilight: I thought I saw something last night in the Horsehead Nebula, but after staring at it for three straight hours I realized, I was wrong!

Now ladies and gentlemen, it's time for an image that isn't exactly for the feint of heart. So I'll give you a warning.













Good? All right then, here's Twilight staring into your soul!


Imagine this being animated by Ren and Stimpy.

As you can see, Twilight is going to make a great princess. She's already monitoring everything just like her teacher Celestia!

RB'sB: Still not as creepy as Princess Bubblegum.

Although I don't think "everything" meant the Sun too. You know, a gigantic ball of gas and fire that if it were any closer it'd set the whole planet on fire? Yeah, she looks at it through a telescope! I don't care who you are. You could have the highest pain tolerance in the world like surviving an anvil, haystacks, and a piano falling on top of you at the same time. But a concentrated light beam right into your eye has got to be the most painful thing that could happen to you. I just hope she doesn't go blind from this.



Luckily Pinkie has eye patches stored all over Ponyville in case of eye patch emergencies. Okay, now that at least makes a bit more sense than the ball. So, doing things didn't work. Not doing things didn't work. Predicting the future didn't work. Watching everything didn't work. There's only one thing left to do. Stop time itself! And bro, if you make any Jojo references I'm throwing you out the window.

RB'sB: You don't have the upper body strength!

Fine, then I'll pee on you.

RB'sB: Wait, what?!

I'd never get into a physical fight with you or anybody, so threatening you with violence is pointless. That being said, I might pee on you.

RB'sB: Fair enough, geez.

What follows is the best scene in the episode. Twilight enlists the help of Spike and Pinkie to sneak into the castle library to find a spell that can stop time. Twilight's over acting and Pinkie's nonchalant carefree nature make this scene so damn enjoyable. 

       
Look no further than these two images to get a clear understanding of what separates these two characters from each other.

When they find the section they're looking for, the group is about to be spotted by a guard. I see Twilight has clearly gone to the Caboose school on how to hide from enemies.



Fortunately the guard is totally all right with them being there because, oh yeah, Twilight was a student here. It's almost like Twi was overthinking things. But it doesn't matter. They run out of time looking for the time stop spell, and it's Tuesday morning! Except, there's no kaboom?

RB'sB: Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be a giant pony shattering kaboom!

Well, nothing happened believe it or not. After everything they've been through, there was no disaster to prevent at all. Luckily this experience wasn't a complete waste of time. Finally having a chance to calm down and collect her thoughts, Twi is able to laugh at herself and realize how fruitless it is to worry about what might happen in the future instead of what's happening in the now. More on that later everybody.

Pinkie comes back and reveals a spell that allows you to travel back in time to a specific point once for a limited period. This means Twilight can warn her past self to... not.... worry about...... a non existent disaster. 

RB'sB: Oh. I see what happened. But isn't it kind of lazy to play the exact same scene with little variation?

Oh no doubt, but I think there's ways of being clever with your laziness. At this point in the episode, everything's starting to click for the audience when it comes to the sequence of events. It was all just one gigantic time loop. So that means we're watching this scene with two different perspectives. At first it's filled with mystery, making you wonder what could've possibly happened in only a few days to Twilight. Now it's filled with clarity as we finally understand what caused this in the first place. And if you look even deeper into the message it starts to become even more layered and clever.

It's established at the beginning that Twilight has problems with thinking too far ahead. So when future Twi warns past Twi of some vague catastrophe, it feels like a metaphor for the way we worry ourselves. Sometimes the biggest problems we have to deal with are the self made ones. And now that regular Twi has done the exact same thing, the loop has been completed and she's passed the burden on to her past, giving her a chance to finally relax. It's just like Pinkie says.


Ah, don't worry about it. It's past Twilight's problem now.

This is an incredible healthy way of thinking. We always have moments where we look back on moments of great strife and stress thinking about what we could've done differently. But there's no point in thinking that way because it's no longer your problem. And even if you somehow were able to go back in time, you'd still only have the exact information available to you at the time. So by proxy, you'd end up doing the exact same thing. Much like how Twilight was unable to change anything by going back to warn herself. Actually, the Game Grumps had a really great discussion about this.



Thinking about the hardships we've faced in our lives and what we could've done to prevent them is a fruitless effort. We can't change what has already happened. That being said, we can use the knowledge from the past to prepare ourselves for the future. In this case, Twilight is now equipped with the knowledge of taking on problems as they come. What we do know and what we've done before decide who and how we are in the future. Which is exactly why Spike's running gag with the ice cream is also significant. If he hadn't allocated all his problems to future Spike, then he might not have a tummy ache now as present Spike.

Tl;dr Don't fret about what you could've done differently in the past. Love and take care of yourself now in the present. Learn from your mistakes to be prepared for problems as they come in the future.

RB'sB: Dude, I think you got in WAY too deep there. It's My Little Pony for crying out loud!

Look at me. I'm a college engineer over-analyzing the intricacies of a message from a cartoon about pastel colored horses. I think I know now why I love this episode so much.

And Hell, there's a whole lot to love! The message is a lot deeper upon inspection, Tara does a great job capturing Twi's descent into madness, Pinkie serves a great supporting role, and the time travel rules are straight forward and simple. It's a shame the only time people talk about this episode is when mentioning Tirek's escape. Hopefully I've done a good job shedding some light on this diamond in the rough!

Thank you all so much for reading. Let me know what you thought of this journal in the comments and if there are any similar episodes you'd like to see get the RaccoonBro treatment. Have a fantastic evening, and try not to think too hard next time you watch a time travel movie. Trust me, it's a lot less stressful that way.
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What's up everybody?! You know, My Little Pony-

RB'sB: Oh wow, another MLP review. Let me guess, you're gonna talk about how great Sounds of Silence is?

I don't like your tone, but if you'd let me finish I think you'll be rather excited by what I have planned. My Little Pony is quite the anomaly when you really think about it. Back in the 80's it was a successful toy line with a so-so cartoon and God awful movie that was animated in 10 weeks. Then it kept getting newer generations a la Transformers style, likely so Hasbro could keep branching out to both demographics. Gotta have variety y'know?

But as the gens kept evolving, the media surrounding them kept devolving. Hard to believe there's anywhere to go but up after the first gen, but then you remember Newborn Cooties. And then you proceed to disinfect your brain to get that memory out as thoroughly as possible.

It seemed like there was no bright future for this series after that travesty. But then someone at Hasbro got the bright idea to hire someone who actually knows how to make a good show! Enter Lauren Faust, who has worked on classics like the Powerpuff Girls and Foster's. And the rest is history. What was seen as a dead franchise only toddlers could enjoy (much like jiggling keys in front of them) became a juggernaut in the cartoon and pop culture landscape. My Little Pony was back, and nothing could stop it!

RB'sB: So do you plan on writing a review about one of the best episodes to show why it should be celebrated?

I thought you might say that brother, but this is where the fun part kicks in. I don't know what episode I'm gonna review. And you've gotta help me.

RB'sB: Wait, you want me to pick?

Give me your worst brother. It can be anything under the sun. You could hit me with a masterpiece like Lesson Zero, a train-wreck like Somepony to Watch Over Me, I'll even except one of the crappiest EQG specials you can think of like Spring Breakdown. (don't @ me)

RB'sB: Hohoho, this is gonna be good. Okay, let's see..... I've got it!!!! We're gonna go back to the early days on this one! And something tells me you might have a bad time Sans Chat Icon 2 

All right then let's hear it! Look Before You Sleep? Boast Busters?! Bring it on tough guy!

RB'sB: I want you to review..... A Bird in the Hoof!

Oh my GOOOOOOOOOOOOO- wait a minute. A Bird in the Hoof? I actually like that episode.

RB'sB: 

Well it's no secret everybody that I've already covered most of season 1 a long time ago when talking about my 8 favorite episodes, as well as the worst. But there's still plenty of the early days to go around. It's also no secret that while yes MLP was a big hit when it first came out, it's also kinda unrecognizable compared to where it is today. Can you really blame the showrunners? They wanted to make a good product for kids, sure, but it was also supposed to be for really little little kids. It's My Little Pony for goodness sake! If 4chan hadn't existed at the time, this show probably would've only lasted like 3 seasons. But now we have 6 more seasons.

RB'sB: And a movie!!!

Killer reference there bro. Looking back at the show's first season, it's incredibly fascinating to see how far this show has come even when comparing stills. That's a fun thing I look to do with a lot of my favorite shows that have ran for a long time. It'd be pretty boring if they kept doing the same thing the whole time, and people who really wanna make a good product learn from their mistakes. Sometimes the art style will be different, voice actors will be using completely different voices, and even the tone of the dialogue can feel like it comes from a completely different show. In MLP's case, the colors feel more fleshed out now and less drained, the voice actresses sound less like children, and the facial expressions. Sweet baby Jesus the facial expressions.


Imagine getting this wholesome face in the very first episode.

Where exactly this show made its leap in quality after gaining an adult fanbase is up for debate, but there's still something so damn charming about the animal that is season 1 of Friendship is Magic, which is cheesy and and cringey in all the best ways. And then you've got Bird in the Hoof. This one is probably one of the most forgotten and underappreciated episodes of the show IMO, and it's no surprise considering how it's buried underneath so many other better seasons on top of the remembered episodes from the first season. It's not amazing enough to be remembered, and it's certainly not awful enough to be remembered, but I think it's time this episode is given its chance to shine in the limelight. 

RB'sB: Good luck with that one dude.

Our story begins with Fluttershy taking care of animals and all that usual FS stuff that makes her so damn adorable.


No creature is too small for the Flutters.

RB'sB: Does she make money off of this stuff?

Well, I would have to assume she's some kind of government worker. Otherwise how would she be able to afford that cottage? Plus if she wasn't making money off of this she'd be a massive hypocrite in Flutter Brutter, and holy s*** I just got the pun in that episode title as I'm writing this part.

RB'sB: It's been three years!

Angel then starts running in frantically to remind Fluttershy that she's late for a brunch at Sugarcube Corner with Princess Celestia. I'm just gonna ignore the fact that the clock says four and most people don't have brunch at 4'o clock and assume it's a pony thing. Besides, it's scenes like this that make me wish Angel wasn't hated so much. Sure, he may be, okay is a total pr***, but he's also a fun one. And he clearly cares about Fluttershy here by making sure she gets to the brunch on time. So can't we give the poor boy a little breathing room?

Now it's time for the theme song, and damn. I knew the show had improved quite a bit, but I didn't realize it had improved THIS much. Even the theme song is unrecognizable.



That's actually the one thing I wouldn't have changed. Rainbow Dash tries to get Celestia's guards to flinch as if they were British royal guard, and be sure to remember this moment for later. Actually, it's not that important if you remember it or not, the payoff is pretty weak. Everypony else is here and acting like their usual selves. Twilight's neurotic as ever, Rarity is adamant about keeping her dress clean, and Pinkie does her best Pac Man impression. It's nice to see that these characters were always as enjoyable as they are now. They've hardly changed!

RB'sB: Wait, is that a good thing?

Well, yes and no. No because it is important for characters to develop in any form of media. It's this development that makes the hero's journey feel worth it, and without some kind of change in perspective by the end, the whole story just feels kind of shallow. Why do you think every MLP episode used to end in a letter to Celestia? That being said, I think there's also an underappreciated art in creating a good 'flat' character. The word flat has a lot of unnecessary negative connotations behind it, and I don't know why honestly. When a show lasts as long as this one does, you're going to need characters with consistent flaws and personalities because it makes them easier to identify with and recognize. Sure, it's nice to see our heroes develop, but they can only go through the same arc so many times before it gets stale. When you have characters that don't necessarily change themselves, it's compelling to see how they change the world and those around them. You can write a character to be as one note as possible. So long as they have others to bounce off of and are entertaining, then you have done a good job as a character designer.

Tl;dr, it's interesting seeing how much our heroes have matured, but that doesn't mean I want to see their defining characteristics vanish entirely. It's why I fell in love with them in the first place. If you had a Twilight or a Rarity who was completely perfect in every way, would you even want them?

Oh hey look, Celestia is here! Now there's a character who is pretty much an entirely different pony. These days, we all know her as an adorkable, wise, even passive aggressive bad a** leader. Back in the early days, you could pretty much cover her character in one word.

BENEVOLENT


After all, this series was more focused on the little kids and wanted to make Celestia look as flawless as possible. As long as there were other characters it didn't matter as much. That being said, Celestia does show small hints of her present cheekiness in this scene.

         
*Fake sip*                                                                 Gotcha!

We are then introduced to Celestia's pet.... bird I wanna say? It's definitely gotta a beak. At least I think it does. And limbs that I can only assume act as wings. Well if it is a bird, there must be something in the water because it does not look right. And that's why the design works so well for this episode. If it didn't look so sickly then Fluttershy's next move of straight up stealing it wouldn't feel in character. By the way, I love this next line of dialogue out of context.

Rarity: Stay right where you are. All I want is a clear path to the exit. Nobody move and my dress won't get hurt! Stay back! Back, I say!

All you'd have to do is change one word and the entire tone of the episode gets a serious whiplash. XD

So yes, Fluttershy kidnaps Celestia's pet. Would you call it bird-napping in this case? Doesn't matter. Despite this being a pretty bad decision, it's one of those things where it doesn't break the story or characters in the slightest. As long as a the character is acting, well in character, has justified reasons, and it all ties into whatever point the story is trying to get across, you can make a character do any kind of morally questionable act. So long as you follow these guidelines and add your own little personal flair. Of course the other option is making a character as cute as Fluttershy. She could get away with murder and still be beloved. She could even say a racial slur!

RB'sB: Fun fact, that last one actually happened.

Then we get to the part of the episode that leaves most people mixed on the whole thing. MLP's attempt at gross out humor. Some find it annoying, others find it boring, and I find it pretty dang funny. It's not the best comedy to come out of this show sure, but it at least has a quick pace and focuses mostly on Flutter's reactions. And I must say, I seriously underestimated the faces back in season 1. They're obviously more reserved than now, but that doesn't make them worse inherently. 


I swear, if I wasn't the element of kindness.


This is how humans sit Philomena.

Fluttershy: Mmm... See? It's delicious. Good and good for you. Here comes the choo-choo train. Chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga, whoo-whoo!

Oohhhh so that's where this meme came from.



Feeling stumped after all her attempts, Fluttershy tries to figure out her next move. Suddenly Twilight gets thrown into the story. And yes, I realize it's a common criticism to say that Twilight got shoved into the story so that she could deliver the lesson, but I think her inclusion here makes sense for the sake of the story. It's up to Twilight's presence for Fluttershy to finally put aside her pride and realize that she can't help Philomena and shouldn't have taken her in the first place. But right as they're about to leave, the royal guard arrive to inform Twilight that the royal pet has disappeared.


No princess, this is no time for your puppy face!

We get a little bit of Twilight and Fluttershy coughing to cover up Philomena's own(Tara Strong also comes really close to letting her Timmy Turner slip), and now things aren't quite as simple as before. With the stakes raised, Twilight is now more hesitant to bring back Philomena in fear that her friend will get in trouble.

RB'sB: Man, that neurosis of her's sure is endearing. It'd be a damn shame if every season kept building upon it and started making her nervous breakdowns feel really old very quick.

You some kind of a buzz kill? So Twilight decides to resort to the next best thing and help Fluttershy with getting Philomena healthier. This scene showcases the side of Twilight that we rarely see but is entertaining every time. I'm of course talking about no-nonsense b**ch side that has zero s***s to give.

Twilight Sparkle: Did you give her any kind of medicine?
Fluttershy: I tried to, but she wouldn't take it.
Twilight Sparkle: [groan] Then you have to make her take it. You can't be such a pushover, Fluttershy! You need to show this patient who's the boss. Make her straighten up and fly right!
Fluttershy: She can't fly.
Twilight Sparkle: No excuses! Done. Okay, what else?
Fluttershy: Uh... well, she keeps pulling her feathers off. The ones that haven't fallen out yet from all her coughing, I mean.
Twilight Sparkle: There you go.
Fluttershy: I don't think she likes it.
Twilight Sparkle: Tough love, baby. You want her to get well, don't you?
Fluttershy: Of course, but...
Twilight Sparkle: Next!

Hey, I won't judge. B**ches get stuff done! But Philomena gets the jump on both of them and makes a run for it. What follows is pure character acting at its finest. As much as I love comedy from voice acting, I can also appreciate when the comedy is told purely through the visuals and music, and when you hear music that takes inspiration from Benny Hill, you know you're in for a treat.

RB'sB: Didn't the show already do a sequence almost exactly like this in the same season?

Yes, but at least both episodes are on opposite ends of the whole season. If they were one or two episodes apart that'd be a bit more egregious. But try to think of it from the perspective of someone just watching TV. They only ever get to watch specific episodes whenever they happen to come on. It's like one big roulette wheel. And thanks to the internet, it's easy to nitpick just about anything no matter how far apart the inconsistencies are.



The chase leads the two ponies to the center of town where the rest of the Mane Six are simply chilling. I know it's a small detail, but I really love this kind of world building because it makes the characters feel more real. When they're not getting into crazy high jinks or world ending adventures, they're simply hanging out and enjoying each other's company. But this moment of non-action is interrupted by the sudden appearance of Philomena at the top of a tall statue. And then this happens.

           

RB'sB: Holy crap! Forget all doubt, this show is for mature audiences only and has just been disguising itself as a TV-Y program this whole time.

After that quaint little incident, Celestia appears. Both Twilight and Fluttershy are quick to take the fall for each other, and even Pinkie Pie wants in on the blame game! Now THAT'S what I call true friendship. In light of the events, Celestia makes a decree.




Nah, I'm only kidding. Turns out Philomena is actually a phoenix and was merely playing a prank on Fluttershy the whole time.

RB'sB: So Fluttershy, the animal expert, has never heard of a phoenix?

I can believe it. A phoenix is obviously rare to be owned by royalty, and it's not like they have some form of internet in Ponyville. A lot of people also really dislike Philomena for this revelation, on top of all the gross out from before. But hey, she's just an animal, and she was kind of bird-napped. Plus she also gives Fluttershy a gift, so they're chill now. We get our lesson about not taking matters into our own hands without asking, and while it is a simple message for kids I do appreciate how the writers did a good job of making this moral feel organic. It feels like something these characters would actually need to learn given their personalities. And as I said before, we get a follow up on that epic impenetrable royal guard joke!

RB'sB: You weren't kidding about it being lame.

Eh, I still like the little detail where you can actually hear what Rainbow Dash is whispering to Philomena. Must of the time it's just indistinguishable gibberish.

 

I completely understand why this episode has been forgotten to the wayside, but I still think it's totally worth the revisit. Fluttershy has a great performance, Twilight's line delivery is hilarious, the visual humor with Philomena is excellent, Celestia gives us a sneak peek of how fun she becomes, and the moral ain't half bad either.

RB'sB: I have to admit Carrick, I'm a little surprised you were able to salvage a review together like this from an episode I just assumed would be too un-extraordinary to talk about, but you've managed to prove me wrong. Well done.

Thanks bro! And thank you all for checking out my little review. See Celestia, I can make references to the title too! If you want to see this series continue, let me know in the comments. If you have some other underrated episodes you'd like me to cover, let me know about that too. I hope you all have a fantastic evening. Until next time...


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Aladdin Review

40 min read

What’s up all y’all gamers and animation enthusiasts?! I hope you all have been having a good Summer. I know I’ve been enjoying camp, some amazing reveals at E3 *insert applause*, and a chance to rewatch some of my favorite movies. This includes a bunch of Disney movies!

 

As I’m sure you all know, Disney is on top of the freaking world right now, having bought out all the biggest franchises and companies. It is both awe inspiring and at the same time ridiculously terrifying seeing how far they’ve come. This company has become so damn cocky that they don’t even need to write original stories anymore to make money. But you know what, I think it’s time to take a step back and look at something from a much simpler time. A time when yelling gibberish into the mic was considered music and practical effects still had a place in the market. I am of course talking about the Disney Renaissance era! (during the 90's of course)

 

And the term Renaissance is rightly deserved. To think Disney nearly lost everything and were bankrupt at any point in time. And the movie that nearly killed them isn’t even that bad! Granted it’s not good either, but it’s no Chicken Little. Little by little Disney found its feet again, and soon enough they were cranking out memorable stories one after the other. And my personal favorite out of all of these is-

 

RB’sB: Oh great, here it comes.

 

Here what comes?

 

RB’sB: Don’t you play dumb with me! You’re not fooling me again with this shtick. Not after your f***ing Death Note review!

 

What does any of this have to do with Death Note?

 

RB’sB: Fine, I’ll play along. But don’t think this means you’ve fooled me! You go on and on about how much you love a specific period of time and its media. You mention one that you’ve supposedly watched recently. You make us think it’s the popular version, and then BAM! You pull the rug from under our feet and review the one everybody hates. Hell, just look at the title of this journal!

 

…I have no idea what you’re talking about man. You know I’m talking about Aladdin right?

 

RB’sB: Well… yeah?

 

Come on man, don’t try to pretend there’s more than one Aladdin. There can only be one Aladdin. That movie is so good! Sure there have been some pretty awful live action remakes lately, but Disney would never go back and remake something that’s already perfect.

 

RB’sB: I uh… are you serious right now? When’s the last time you’ve been on the internet?

 

Well I haven’t touched it since last year’s E3. I didn’t wanna be spoiled by any leaks. Was it worth it? Probably not. But at least I got to experience that awesome Banjo reveal and Keanu Reeves firsthand. Why do you ask?

 

RB’sB: Oohhh, I see what’s going on here.

 

What?

 

RB’sB: Nothing! Not a single thing at all. Please, by all means, proceed with your review of the one and only Aladdin.

 

Well thank you bro. Anyway, before we start, let’s establish a few things. As we all know, this movie tends to get praised for two things, and two things only. The music and the Genie. Both of these things are of course incredible, but it also has an unfortunate effect on the rest of the movie by overshadowing the rest of the good elements. When’s the last time you heard a review of Up that doesn’t focus solely on the first 10 minutes? Or how about a discussion of Inglorious Basterds that doesn’t talk about Hans Landa?

 

Because of this, I am issuing a challenge to myself. Today I will prove to you all that I don’t just love this movie for Genie and the music. I will only talk about these two elements for as long as they appear in the movie. After all, the Genie is like 25% of the film, yet he takes up 90% of the discussion surrounding this movie. Besides, it’s not like this is my first time talking about these two elements of the movie. Yet another reason to keep things brief. I think that covers just about everything, so let’s do this!

 

Our story begins with… uh oh. Our first musical number. Aladdin, you are not making this self-issued challenge easy on myself. Don’t worry guys, I’ll keep things brief. Arabian Nights, as far as opening numbers go, does a fantastic job in setting the mood and acquainting you with this world’s setting. A lot of Disney movies from the 90’s are really good at doing this. And best of all, it’s not another run of the mill “our lives are perfect and nothing could go wrong” song that I’m just now realizing manages to show up quite a lot in these musicals. But Aladdin’s opening number starts off with a mysterious tone as we’re treated with a beautiful night time desert. I’m surprised by how unpopular desert settings are to most. I love deserts! Sure they only have a few colors, but they are so striking, and the best examples are the ones that make me feel like I’m right there on the verge of dehydration. But as the song starts to pick up in tempo, we also get the city of Agrabah, a well realized town with tiny details on every frame.

 

As the song ends we meet this movie’s first character, as well as its most insignificant. Yeah, the traveling merchant scene could’ve been easily cut out. He’s narrating a story that doesn’t really need narration and providing history that’s explained later anyway, and he doesn’t even show up at the end of the movie. Though I heard he does appear at the end of King of Thieves, but I haven’t seen it. Something tells me this scene was thrown in last minute just to give Robin Williams an opportunity to do more stand up. And you know what? You can never have too much Robin in your movie. So I’m totally fine with this glorified standup routine.

 

After that bit of fluff we get to the actual meat of the film. We see a dark figure in the horizon approached by a lowly thief who brought him a piece of treasure. One so valuable he apparently had to “slit a few throats” to get it.

 

RB’sB: Whoa. That’s a pretty casual thing to just drop in a Disney movie. Then again this was the 90’s, so that makes sense I guess.

 

We then meet our resident evil of the movie, Jafar! Remember when Disney actually wrote villains who were evil and proud of it without trying to trick you into thinking they were good until the last minute? Well, this is the 90’s, and this era has given us a plethora of awesome villains, including Jafar, the sorcerer supreme. Well, not so much supreme, more like extra rare. Even though he only dabbles in the dark arts he’s still a more than threatening character. I like to compare his personality to Frieza. Most of the time he’s calm and composed, always having a plan of attack and rarely getting upset. But when he does, boy had you better wish you’re not in the same room as him, because he has quite a lot of anger built up within as well as the power to boot.

 

After his pet parrot retrieves the invaluable piece of treasure from the thief, Jafar uses the magic to create a trail that leads him to the Cave of Wonders. Untold riches within, none of which compare to the ultimate source of power, the magic lamp. But according to the cave itself (whose CGI has surprisingly aged extremely well), only the diamond in the rough can enter in his domain. Is it the thief you may ask?

 

RB’sB: That depends. Is his name Aladdin?

 

No I don’t think s-

 

   

 

Oh. Well that’s pretty conclusive. After the debris clears we get the introduction of our second villain, Iago! As easy as it could’ve been to just let Jafar have a normal pet bird a la Maleficent’s crow, we instead got one of the funniest animated sidekicks, as well as characters, in a Disney movie. And keep in mind, he’s in the same movie as that other beloved comic relief character. What makes Iago so funny isn’t just his slapstick or his quick mouth. In the end, it’s really Gilbert Gottfried’s performance that sells the character. I can understand those who found his voice grating, but he’s just so damn iconic to the animation world. His voice is as recognizable as Patrick Warburton and Wallace Shawn, two other hilarious voice actors. There’s a good reason Gilbert has been the only one to ever voice Iago, and to cast anyone else at this point while he’s still alive would be heresy.

 

RB’sB: Mmm.

 

After some fun banter that does a great job of establishing Jafar and Iago’s personalities, we get a very clever transition to our titular character, Aladdin, while he’s in the middle of being chased by guards with swords.

 

RB’sB: Geez, all that for a loaf of bread? The economy in this town must be super f***ed.

 

And he’s not alone. He’s joined by his own sidekick Abu. He may not be as talkative as Iago, but I’m appreciative of how he has more lines than most of the characters in Frank Welker’s catalogue. I mean come on guys, this dude is such a talented VA and most of the time he’s delegated to only doing animal noises. I mean sure, he’s getting plenty of work, and he has characters like Fred and Megatron, but it’d be nice for this guy to get more prominent roles compared to the actual amount he gets. He and Dee Bradley Baker are one in the same to me in this regard when it comes to not getting enough screen time.

 

As for Aladdin himself, I’ll talk about him more later as the film goes on seeing as how we’ll be getting plenty of time with the dude. But now we get our second musical number, as well as the first one to be sung by actual characters. One Jump Ahead, in my opinion, is the most underrated song of this film, and possibly the whole Disney era. It’s so fast paced and is filled to the brim with creative visual gags as Aladdin outsmarts the justice system, yet nobody seems to talk about this song! And the singing is especially impressive to me because it’s one of the few times where I actually had no idea the character had a different speaking and singing actor. The transition between Aladdin’s dialogue and song is as seamless as whenever Pinkie Pie or Twilight sing.

 <img src ="vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/di…" height="230" width="350"

After our antagonists fall into a wagon of s*** (trust me it’s funnier then it sounds), our two heroes enjoy their bounty, and the following scene is one I’d argue is one of the more important moments that make the film work. It’s pretty hard to make someone who consistently breaks the law a likeable character, even if they “need” to do it. For instance, did anyone really buy the whole “my daughter is sick” sympathy card that Sandman got in Spiderman 3? There has to be a limit when it comes to justice.

 

Up to this point, we’ve only known Aladdin as a troublemaker, but the part where he sees the two hungry kids looking for food and gives them his is not only what makes Aladdin likeable, but it also establishes how he’s a diamond in the rough. He has a good heart that’s distracted by constant misdeeds. And when the snooty prince comes into town and knocks Al down even further a peg by calling him a street rat, get used to that term, we see just how vulnerable he really is. All he’s ever known is poverty, which is why he truly believes in the lie that he and Abu will never have problems again if they become rich and powerful.

 

After that quiet character moment, we are met with our other set of heroes. The Sultan of Agrabah is trying to find a successful suitor to wed his daughter Jasmine, but unfortunately for him she’s a little more 21st century than whatever time period this film is set in. Which is admittedly hard to tell with all the modern day lingo, but whatever. Jasmine is a very interesting character to me. She seems to be one of the first characters to have started the annoying trend of princesses who want something more to life and hate the idea of royalty. You know, for a company that loves to promote the idea that anyone can be a princess, Disney sure loves writing characters who hate every second of it. Hell, some would rather be presidents than monarchs. You all know who I’m talking about 😉

 

As is par for the course when it comes to characters who start bad trends, I think it works here. For starters, Jasmine is a teenager, and teens are notorious for being pretty moody and rebellious. Then again with me personally, my mom’s always told me I was much worse as a baby than a teenager. What’s also worth considering is that Jasmine only hates her position for one reason. She hates the idea of being forced to marry someone she just met who does it for power. She wants to marry someone for love.

 

RB’sB: *sniff* Aw man dude. That’s actually really sweet. I forgot how adorable Jasmine is. Especially for a bratty teen character.

 

Yeah, take that Star Butterfly, you annoying little s***! Also congrats on the ending to your series I heard it was pretty successful and that most people were happy with it. So with that being said, I hope people don’t keep taking that one line where she says, “Maybe I don’t want to be a princess,” out of context anymore because it’s actually understandable and possibly even relatable. And if that’s not enough, Jasmine is also an animal lover. So that’s automatic Fluttershy points for her. Her dad is also a breath of fresh air too. True he’s somewhat of a dumb dad, but he’s more so bumbling than outright stupid. He’s not heartless in urging Jasmine to marry someone. He just wants to make sure that she’s well taken care of when he’s eventually gone from this world.

 

RB’sB: Aw what? *sniffle* He’s a sweetheart too?! When was the last time I watched this movie anyway?!?!

Another benefit to watching these movies catching lines like this that I din't get as a child.

Sultan: I don't know where she gets it from. Her mother wasn't so picky. 

You just roasted yourself buddy.

After storming off, we find out that Jafar is the Sultan's royal Grand Vizier. If this movie was written today, y’all know for a fact Disney would jump on that twist villain hype train. Also it’d be computer generated and there’d be more celebrities, but that’s a given. My point is that it’s a breath of fresh air to use dramatic irony to its fullest. We all know Jafar is evil, we’d probably know he’s evil anyway(I mean f*** look at the guy), and we’re all waiting for the characters to figure out when he’s evil.  It’s because of the buildup that we anticipate the final battle, and it’s because of the lack of buildup why so many twist villains suck. Because we know he's evil, it also by proxy makes him a more interesting and diabolical character to us in the way he manipulates others to do his bidding whether they want to or not. We also learn that the Sultan isn’t just gullible, but he’s also hypnotized. So that’s another reason to love Jafar and his cunning.

 

Jasmine sneaks off on her own to try and get away from the bonds of arranged marriage. This might be seen as a case of characters running away from their problems, something I freakin’ hate! But unlike Blake Belladonna who literally abandons her only friends and acts like a whiny emo for two volumes (I said it and I’m sticking to it!), Jasmine once again gets the “she’s just a teenager” excuse. This is a pretty normal thing for kids to do. They just need time to cool off and they’ll likely come back. And even if she didn’t her father most certainly would’ve made sure she did return.

 

It’s the next day, and we see Aladdin and Abu doing their usual routine of stealing food just to get by. He then finds himself smitten with a mysterious hooded figure. I still don’t believe in love at first sight, but I think the film makes it clear that this is more like lust at first sight. Another common thing for teenagers now that I think about it! Basically the film isn't trying to say that he immediately falls in love with her in this moment. It's more like mesmerism. 


Seeing as how she’s lived in a castle all her life, Jasmine naturally almost gets herself killed after not paying for food.

 

RB’sB: Again, the Hell is with the economy in this town?

 

Luckily Aladdin is quick witted enough to defuse the situation, and Jasmine is intuitive enough to trust Al and play along.

 

RB’sB: I still love the whole monkey sultan bit, especially with the way Jasmine’s VA delivers it.

 

And let us not forget Frank Welker, who still manages to deliver so much personality without any actual words. We cut to Jafar and Iago who use some magic to figure out who the diamond in the rough is. This may sound like a bit of a chosen one dilemma, something that rarely works these days without some form of subversion, but it only shows up here for a little bit to service the plot and is quickly dropped later in favor of the characters. No harm, no foul. Although there is plenty of harm to Iago in this scene, and it’s wonderful. This film really feels like Disney is channeling its inner Warner Bros.


 

We then get what is essentially a date between Al and Jas. I'm serious when I'm saying that these two have some of the best chemistry out of any Disney couple. Not only are they both well realized characters as opposed to one of them just being eye candy, they also have really interesting conversations where they talk about their problems. It’s so refreshing to see two romantic leads bond over simply talking to each other, rather than constantly stumbling on words over how good looking the other is. It also does a great job in bridging the gap between the poor and rich. People aren't defined by the amount of money they have and we all have our own battles and demons to fight.


Before things can go way beyond a G rating, the guards interrupt the couple’s moment and have Al arrested. Jas reveals she’s the princess in an attempt to save him, but this was a direct order from Jafar himself, who has other plans for our little street rat.

 

RB’sB: Whoa dude, that’s not very nice.

 

What? I consider it a compliment. Rats are survivors and get a lot of unnecessary flack for simply finding unorthodox ways to thrive. Plus they make for pretty amazing Pixar movies.

 
Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I got here.

RB’sB: …Guess I can’t argue there.

 

Aladdin is now in jail, along with Abu who is unable to help beyond undoing his shackles. I feel really bad for him in this scene. No, not because he’s in jail (I mean he kind of had it coming), but now he’s more embarrassed then ever with his upbringing. How can he possibly be with royalty? It's scenes like this that further build up Aladdin's lie, something that characters need to in order to change by the end of the story.

 

Suddenly, a creepy old man greets him. And no, not the kind who carries questionable weaponry on him.



As a voice actor, I’ve gotta give it up to Mr. Freeman in this scene.


RB'sB: HALF LIFE 3 WEN?!


No not that Freeman, Jonathan Freeman. If Iago hadn’t popped out of his back, I would’ve never guessed it was Jafar in disguise. They escape through a secret passage and make their way to the Cave of Wonders. Al is tasked with finding a lamp and being greatly rewarded. But he can’t touch anything else while he’s in there.

 

RB’sB: Wait a minute, if only Al can enter the cave, then how come Abu gets to as well?

 

Hm, well either he’s also worthy, or the cave is like a security system that turns off once the criteria is met. That's honestly the best I've got. We get some stunning imagery of all kinds of wondrous looking treasure. The Cave of Wonders lives up to its name I guess. We then meet another great character, Carpet! Carpet is as simple as a design can get. No voice, no face, not even any body parts. Just miming and tassels to emote with. Characters like Carpet can only work with great animation. Otherwise it’s a lot harder to relate to them seeing as we are people and not rugs. And Carpet manages to be a fun and loyal character who’s brimming with personality.

 

Al gets to the final room with the help of Carpet and finds the mysterious lamp. It may look like a piece of junk, but it’s what’s in the inside that counts. That’s why it looks crappy as opposed to being blinged out with jewels or something.

 
Hello iconic shot.

RB’sB: Mmmmmm.

 

Things are looking up until Abu done f***s up and touches another piece of treasure. I would be a little angry, but it’s a problem that arises from a character flaw (in this case being a kleptomaniac) as opposed to forced stupidity for the sake of plot, and Abu is normally very helpful if a bit of a jerk sometimes. We then get our obligatory Disney action scene to make little boys not regret watching the movie. You know the ones! There’s the elephant graveyard scene from Lion King, the wolf fight from Beauty and the Beast, and who could forget literally the entirety of Mulan? And hey, clearly it works because I liked those scenes then and now. Al and Abu make it by the singed hair of their chins after Carpet gets crushed by rock.

 

RB’sB: Damn, if that old guy wasn’t Jafar they totally were gonna just leave their new friend to die there. #carpetlivesmattertoo

 

It was an intense scene. Some things would probably slip your mind too. Abu saves Al from literally getting stabbed to death (damn I forgot the amount of potential murder in this movie), and our three heroes get trapped in the collapsing cave, leaving Jafar to revel in his victory… That then turns out to be a failure.

 

RB’sB: Pfft. Cry baby.

 

Oh hey, it’s the scene you’ve all been waiting for. No point in putting it off anymore as far as I’m concerned. Abu managed to snag the lamp from Jafar during the chaos, and Al decides to rub the lamp. At that moment, a legend was born. Up to this point Aladdin, while certainly enjoyable, has been nothing extraordinary. It’s been a nice little romance story with memorable characters and set pieces. But the moment that blue smoke starts emitting from the lamp, the entire game completely changes. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s Genie time!

 

Genie is an animation enthusiast’s wet dream. He embodies all the chaos and fast paced gags of old cartoons from times past. Because he’s all powerful and magic, the animators literally have endless potential when it comes to the kinds of jokes they can tell. But even with all the best animators in the world, none of that would even matter without a voice that could match all that controlled chaos. Robin Williams is… was the only person who could possibly live up to the boundless energy and potential of a character like Genie. He had already established himself as a man of character acting who can change his voice and personality at the drop of a hat with the ease of an actual magic user. To this day I’m still baffled by how much talent and comedy one person can contain within themselves. He’s so good at improv that most of his script all comes straight from his wacky mind. I’m sure there’s literal days worth of unused footage that had to be cut for time. I could go on about Genie forever, but he only appears in 25% of the movie, so that’s all he’s gonna get in my review too. So let’s just move on to his song.

 

I mean, what do you want me to say? It’s freakin’ Friend Like Me, one of the most iconic Disney songs ever. If you thought his introduction was chaotic, you haven’t seen anything yet. What we’ve got here is visual gag after visual gag, and there’s so much variety to it all as well as with the voices Robin uses. He may not be a Broadway man, but when you’ve got as much charisma and energy as this guy you don’t really need to sound like Paige O’Hara. Songs like these require you to build up momentum as you go along, so naturally the highest and loudest notes are hit by the end of the number. Genie is so compelling that I don’t even care that there’s not even a background sometimes. He probably requires so much effort to animate anyway that it’s really hard to nitpick in good faith. It’s still a damn shame that both this and Robin’s next number are not available on Spotify. But even then it would be sinful to listen to the song without the animation to go along with it. Also, if you like covers, here's a really cool edit someone made of Genie singing with a female YouTuber that has a great voice.



Phew. Glad I managed to get that all out of my system. Let’s speed things along shall we? Genie establishes the rules of his wishes. Being as sharp as he is, Al uses this to his advantage to trick Genie into getting them out of there for free. Pretty damn clever if I do say so myself. Not to mention the way Genie reacts. His emotions go all over the place, and he’s so damn over the top that it’s so damn funny. I have a feeling I’m gonna be saying that a lot with Genie though, so I’d better refrain from the repetition. Also Genie makes enough references to make Shark Tale and Deadpool blush. Luckily this version falls more towards the DP side of the scale due to the pacing and the fact that the references actually fit.

 
Like doing a Vincent Price impression to illustrate he can't raise the dead.

They make their way to a remote island where Genie makes that one face that everybody uses in their reviews for disbelief. I don’t blame them. It’s a great face. Al tries to think of what his first wish should be, but he can’t stop himself from thinking about Jasmine. Winning her over can’t be as simple though as a romance spell since it’s against the rules. Thank God might I add because those damn romance spells lead to all kinds of unfortunate implications in animation. Kudos for avoiding it outright. No, Al and Genie come up with a different more creative plan to win her hand, but not before Genie has his first real down to Earth moment. As easy as it could’ve been to simply make the Genie into a joke machine for Robin Williams and leave all the character stuff with Al, the writers go out of their way to flesh him out. He may have phenomenal cosmic power, but he also has real human moments and wishes of his own.

 

RB’sB: Don’t forget the itty bitty living space.

 

How could I? Ten thousand years in a place like that must give ya a real crick in the neck. Al promises Genie to set him free with his last wish, and we get what is essentially Extreme Makeover: Prince Edition. See it for yourself because words can’t do this scene justice with how great it is.

 

Meanwhile while all this was going on, Jasmine has been distraught because she feels responsible for Al’s capture and supposed execution as told to her by Jafar. We get a short but sweet where the Sultan sits down with Jas and listens to her problems, something only a good dad would do. We’ve also been getting plenty of Jafar and Iago moments of diabolical scheming and plotting.

 

I talked about these two as individuals, but together they are an absolute delight of villainy. Unlike most evil duos where one is clearly more dominant while the other is constantly abused, Jafar and Iago are much more symbiotic in their scheming, even amicable at times. Iago may be the sidekick technically, but he’s anything but passive. And Jafar may be the one going for ultimate power, but he always listens to Iago’s ideas and gives him credit where it’s due. Basically Jafar and Iago are well written characters, and together they’re better than the sum of their parts. Much like George & Harold and Rick & Morty.

 

With the lamp supposedly gone forever, Iago comes up with the backup plan of Jafar marrying the princess in order to become Sultan the old fashioned way, and then dropping both Jas and the Sultan off a cliff. But before he can use his staff to hypnotize the Sultan into allowing this union, music is heard off in the distance. A parade of sorts. Or perhaps, the best damn musical number in my opinion. That’s right guys, it’s time to talk about Prince Ali!.... again.

 

For those who don’t know, I’ve covered why I like this song in a previous deviation where I talked about a bunch of my favorite musical numbers from animated movies, so I’ll keep things brief here. Basically this song has the benefit of Genie hamming it up and wicked visuals, only this time things feel a bit more grand. Genie is now joined by a whole parade of performers, all hyping up how awesome and amazing Prince Ali himself is, factual or no. If I found out that my monarch’s potential suitor had the strength of ten regular men and lets people see his Persian monkeys at no fee, I might swoon a little myself. And that crescendo near the end where they finally get to the palace is absolutely breathtaking, especially if you’re a music lover like me. Funny enough, this is the only time Genie uses a human form to operate. Could you imagine if he had spent a good majority of his time onscreen as a human instead of the iconic blue design we know and love?

 

RB’sB: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

 

Al, or Prince Ali in this case, ingratiates himself into the palace by letting the Sultan ride his carpet and essentially getting into a d*** measuring contest with Jafar.

 

RB’sB: I never really got this scene. Why does Genie just leave?

 

I believe it’s because Al has to do this part by himself. Genie is bound only to fulfilling his master’s wish, and he’s kinda pushing it already what with the whole parade and everything. Plus they’ve gotta keep the magic a secret. While they’re in the middle of quite literally trying to plan out the rest of Jas’s life, she walks in and is understandably quite p***ed at them. Everyone’s reactions here are priceless as well.

 
Even Jafar can't look her straight in the face.

Later that night we see everyone chilling out as Ali stresses about how to win Jasmine over with his new persona, while Genie tries to convince Al to just be himself. I really like the way this scene’s handled. Sure, the whole “be yourself” moral is done to death, but Al is in a particularly weird position. He literally can’t be with Jas as himself, and his own insecurities scare him too much. In order for a character to have positive development, there has to be a lie that they firmly believe in, even if it’s obvious to us as an audience that the protagonist is wrong. It’s all about the journey in seeing how that character comes to the conclusion on their own, which is why Al has one of the best character arcs of any Disney protagonist, right up there with Kuzco and Beast.

 

Genie finally concedes and helps Ali with romancing Jas. I love the detail of how the curtain flies open when entering her room as if it’s an actual camera. What follows is the movie’s most awkward scene, and by that, I mean the best kind of awkward. The reason Ali is stumbling over his words now as opposed to before is because he’s not being himself anymore. The more you try to tell a lie, the more it grows and becomes more painfully obvious. Earlier in the movie he was able to describe all the reasons he liked Jas to Genie such as her humor, intellect, and beauty. But now all he can muster up is that she’s “punctual.” Jas herself is great in this scene and does a great job in calling Ali out for his approach and possible ulterior motives that so many other suitors had. Wanna know how to write an empowering scene? Bam. There ya go everyone.

 

At this point, Ali gives up and realizes that he can’t win her over this way. So he takes a dive off the building much to Jas’s shock. Even more shocking though is that he didn't fall and is actually riding on a magic carpet. After being told it’s safe, Jas agrees to go for a ride.

 

RB’sB: She has a pet tiger and wonders if something is safe? Also, remember kids, you can win anyone over so long as you have a sweet ride.

 

Oh yeah, I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that Jas would look for an excuse to get away from the palace after so many years, found out Ali is more empathetic than all the other princes, and intuits that it’s actually Aladdin from the callback line “Do you trust me?” It’s totally just that one thing to be taken out of context that people do with so many moments from this movie all the time.

 

RB’sB: …Well you don’t have to be a d*** about it.

 

Oh hey, it’s Academy bait the song. Relax everyone, I kid. It’s just as great as everything says. It’s a beautiful duet with beautiful singers set to beautiful landscapes. It’s about as Disney as you can get with any song. Definitely one that’s better to be experienced as opposed to explained, so I'll go ahead and move forward.

 

The two enjoy a showing of fireworks, and Jasmine quickly calls Al out for his lies. I am very appreciative of this form of continuity. There’s no way she wouldn’t be able to put two and two together, much like how everybody can’t realize Clark Kent is Superman. And at the same time, they only met once, so it's reasonable that she wouldn't recognize him right away. This is an example of how quick romance can actually benefit the story. But the lies continue as Al claims to be a prince who just needs a break every now and then. As far as lies go this one is pretty good. It’s not like Jas is in any place to object considering she was doing the same thing not too long ago.

 

Another thing I love about this scene is the way it portrays Al and Jas’s chemistry. Movies, especially animated ones, don’t have all the time in the world to develop romance with paragraphs of dialogue. Sometimes all it takes to make a couple believable is to simply show them being comfortable and content around each other.


Seriously, there’s no denying how G** damn cute these two are together. And as for the whole marriage thing, it’s not so much that they want to get married right away (like say in Frozen), but it more so stems from the responsibilities of leadership. What I’m saying is that I see nothing here that needs subverting, and it’s perfect just the way it is.

 

RB’sB: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

 

After sharing a kiss that definitely had tongue in it, Ali gets kidnapped by the palace guards per Jafar’s orders and sends Al over the side of a cliff. When I watched this scene as a kid I was legitimately terrified that Al was gonna die. Even when I’m older and watching this scene, I’m still on the edge of my seat because of how relatable the idea of choking is. And the animators make this whole scene feel very claustrophobic. Luckily Genie is there to intuit that Al would probably use his second wish to be rescued, and by this point the two realize that they have become real friends that care about each other (lamp notwithstanding). Keep this in mind for later.

Genie: 
Oh, Al. I'm gettin' kind of fond of you, kid. Not that I wanna pick out curtains or anything.

 

Ali gets back to the palace and unveils Jafar’s method of secret meddling by breaking the cane hypnotizing the Sultan. The Sultan himself proves himself to be a true leader by attempting to have Jafar dealt with swiftly. In fact, the movie would probably have ended right here if Jafar hadn’t discovered the lamp in Al’s pocket. I can excuse Al for not trying to hide it a bit more here because it’s not like he knew Jafar was the old man that tried to kill him.

 

Everything seems to be right with the world. The Sultan is ecstatic that his daughter has found a good suitor, Jas still thinks Al is a prince, and Al has won everybody over. Except it’s not Aladdin that saved the day technically. It’s Ali. And Ali would never even be here if it weren’t for Genie. And if Genie is gone, how is Al supposed to keep up the charade by himself? Al may be a prince technically, but he’s not a prince on the inside. He barely even got through one date as his alter ego. All this coupled with his own insecurities and flaws is why I believe Aladdin is completely in character for the scene where he refuses to set Genie free, as cruel as it is. And the film lets this sink in too.

 

Genie basically shuts him out, Abu and Carpet leave after being yelled at, and Aladdin has a hard hitting moment of self-reflection; this leads him to come to the conclusion on his own that he’s been believing in a lie this whole time. It’s precisely why I believe Fluttershy was in character in Putting Your Hoof Down as opposed to Fake It Til You Make It. In the former, she (like Al) has a moment of humility in seeing how she hurt those closest to her. Al’s character arc has reached the home stretch, and now all that’s left is to come clean.

 

Unfortunately we’ve still got about 20 minutes left. By this point in the film Jafar and Iago have been fun characters who have done pretty dastardly deeds every now and then. But I wouldn’t really say they’ve done anything to make as memorable as the greats like Scar and Maleficent. All that changes though when Iago steals the lamp so Jafar can use Genie to do his bidding. All before Al can get a chance to set things right. Most films would probably have our main character continue to lie and only tell the truth once the villain intervenes. I believe the fact that Al was this close to fixing things up makes their takeover all the more effective.

 

I feel so bad for Genie in this scene too. He’s normally as happy as a clam while working. But being forced to do Jafar’s dirty work has to be like a flaming dump truck to the face.

 

Here we get one of the more controversial parts of the movie. Upside: Jafar finally gets his own villain song. Downside: It’s not a fully original song and is just a reprise of Prince Ali. I don’t mind that it’s only a reprise. In fact, I think that makes it way more effective here. Jafar took one of the most victorious and celebratory songs of any Disney movie and completely turned it on its head by using it to taunt and expose our poor hero. My only real complaint is that it’s far too short. But if you’d like to hear a more fitting villain song for Jafar, check out You’re Only Second Rate from the sequel. It’s really good and sort of feels like an analogy of Dan Castellaneta. trying to recreate Robin’s performance.


 

Al is now at his lowest point. Jafar has almost won completely, but he’s not out for the count yet. Despite being sent to the ends of the Earth, he uses his resourcefulness to save Abu and Carpet and return home to save the day. Jafar may have ultimate power as well as ownership of Genie, but Al and Jas still have ways to win. Al uses his escape art skills to get around the castle and even tangle with Jafar as a giant snake, while Jas goes as far as seducing Jafar just to divert his attention.

 

RB’sB: Isn’t she just 15?

 

I’d rather not think about it. I love how the solution to this final battle isn’t arrived at through brute force or even the arbitrary power of love or some cliché crap. It all comes down to our characters’ abilities to think fast and use the villains’ hubris against them. Al tricks Jafar into becoming a genie with his final wish, receiving all the baggage that comes with it. With our villains defeated, our heroes reconvene. This scene is so damn heart warming every single time because everyone in this movie f***ing earned that happy ending. Jasmine earned wedding her true love, Genie earned his freedom, and Aladdin more than earned the chance to rewrite history by going from rags to riches just like that. And of course by riches I mean love. Don’t @ me.

 

And that was Aladdin! Final thoughts bro?

 

RB’sB: Well it feels good to finally agree with you on one of your reviews for once. This movie is still as great as I remember!

Even after more than 25 years, Aladdin still holds up as one of the reasons the 90's was such a great time to be a Disney fan. The animation is beyond superb and eye catching, and what makes it unique from most Disney films is how well it handles faster more comedic movements as well like one big Looney Tunes cartoon. The music is a special kind of timeless that will be remembered and celebrated for years to come. Aladdin is fantastic protagonist with a great arc, Jasmine is severely underrated and is a lot more interesting than people give her credit for, Jafar and Iago make for a wonderful villainous duo, and I think enough has been said about Genie. Part of me is still somewhat peeved at this film for starting the trend of relying on celebrities over character actors, but that'd be like hating Toy Story for being the first CG film, or South Park for being a successful adult cartoon. Trends do not define the real quality of good products. But is Aladdin my favorite Disney movie? Well... I'd hate to spoil the surprise ;)

So, now that I'm done here, you wanna go to the movies bro?

RB'sB: *sigh* There's no point in hiding it anymore. Carrick, you deserve to know that while you were gone, Disney made a remake of this film. And they cast Will Smith as the genie.

....

RB'sB: Carrick?

I'm.... I'm sure it's fine. I won't be one to judge a film without giving it a fair shot. So let's go see it then and give it a fair and non biased-

*three hours later*


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Ah summer break. A time for leisure and relaxation. And for me, that means reviewing a bunch of cartoons. 

Can I just say how thrilled I am to finally be back? By the time finals rolled around, I knew I wouldn't be able to write one of these things for a while. But now that I'm back, I have a plan of attack.

After this long overdue installment of Randomated Film Reviews, I'm going to make that journal I promised where I defend some hated MLP episodes as well as that other review where I take a look at a very popular show that I am not very fond of. After that, I'll see where the wind takes me. Anyways, on with the reviews!

Anastasia

The story is a loose, and I mean LOOSE, adaptation of the Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna. We follow Anastasia, who now goes by the name Anya due to being an amnesiac. All she wants is to find where she came from, and a duo of con men decide to take advantage of her likeness to the missing grand duchess in hopes of claiming the giant reward of bringing her back. Also there's a f***ing wizard.

I'm pretty thankful that the whole trend of making an animated movie based on a real event with a lot of creative liberties is pretty much dead. You've got Pocahontas, Balto, the Titanic movies, and this. If my Death Note review is anything to go by, y'all should know that I'm pretty open to changes in adaptations. In fact, I generally welcome them. But this is a little different. Death Note is a film adaptation of a pretty recent anime, so it needed to make big changes to justify its existence. But here, we are taking history and kind of spitting on it.

Look, I'm not gonna claim to be some kind of history aficionado, especially when it comes to the execution of the Romanov family. But telling our kids that a wizard wanted revenge on the Russian royal family and not the Ural Regional Soviet due to the threat of being occupied by the White Army is kind of manipulative and dishonest. I mean sure, Disney is notorious for taking creative liberties with their adaptations. But those are all fictional stories with dark elements that needed to be changed in order to show kids. This movie didn't need to be about the execution of the Romanov family. It really should've just been its own thing, because making Grigori Rasputin a sorcerer would be like making Joseph Stalin a friggin' cyborg. It makes no sense. Though it'd probably work for a more surrealist style story.

But hey, let's judge this film on its own merits. And honestly, it's okay. The animation is incredible. In fact, it's so incredible to the point where it's kind of off putting. The animation does its best to replicate human movements as much as possible, and its downright intimidating how smooth everything is. I am personally not a big fan of this for a couple reasons. One, the slower movements aren't as fun as more quickly paced animations. Two, I'm not sure why they decided to go for this much realism in a movie that involves sorcery. And three, rotoscopy in general always feels really uncanny to me, and even though this film is clearly hand drawn the movements always throw me off. It's kind of like when YouTube added 60 fps to their site. It's just jarring.

I did not buy into the romance one bit between the two leads. It's one of those ones where they constantly fight and bicker. Yet they have one dance scene together that makes them start to go all doughy eyed. I greatly prefer the way Princess and the Frog did it. There, it felt like they were gradually warming up to each other and that their differences benefited the other.

Hell, Rasputin barely even does anything in this movie! All he does is sit back and only give our heroes minor bumps in the road by sending out minions to do it for him. Why doesn't he just go himself? It can't be because he's dead, because he comes back anyway at the climax. This makes the whole turning Rasputin into a sorcerer even more mind boggling. Again,to bring up Princess and the Frog, Dr. Facilier only sent out his minions because he was on a time crunch and needed to find the prince ASAP.

Oh God the voice acting. It was not very good. Meg Ryan as an 18 year old Russian amnesiac is one of the most painful miscasts I've ever seen. Not only does she sound way too old, but she doesn't even have a Russian accent. Give Elizabeth Olsen credit. Her Russian accent sucked in Age of Ultron, but at least she was trying! Same goes for John Cusack, who has a pretty monotone and gravely voice. Sure, it works for his usual films, but with animation you need to have a clear and distinct voice since that's the only way to bring your character to life. Also since Meg and John can't sing they hired singers for their parts. I generally prefer animated musicals to hire leads that can do both, but I understand it's not always feasible. Plus Liz Callaway and Jonathan Dokuchitz have awesome voices. A shame they couldn't be the actual stars. Hell, they don't even get a little girl to act AND sing as Younger Anastasia. What's the purpose?! I realize this whole paragraph may sound like nit picking, but not to me it isn't.

At least everyone else speaks with a Russian accent, although this admittedly makes Anastasia and Dimitri's voices even worse due to comparison. Bartok isn't that bad surprisingly, though that's mostly because Hank Azaria is so talented. Jim Cummings even gets to voice the villain... 's song. Eh, I'll take it. Especially since the songs in this movie are total bops. In the Dark of the Night and Journey to the Past are my personal favorites. Even if the movements throw me off this film is still total eye candy, particularly when they get to Paris. So while this movie looks and sounds amazing, there isn't a whole lot to get invested in substance wise. Especially when it comes to the characters. And as a voice actor, I'm faced with too many pet peeves sound wise. Also remember this scene?

Dmitri: I'm going to leave forever now.

Okay but why though? And I'm giving this film a 5 out of 10. I know a lot of people adore this movie so I hope I made no one upset with that score.



The Black Cauldron

It's Danny's favorite Disney movie everyone. Also, I just found out that his girlfriend is an animator at Sony who worked on Hotel Transylvania 3. I am fan boying like a mad man here.

A group of heroes need to stop the Horned King from obtaining the Black Cauldron and using it to raise an army of the dead. Our heroes include Taran the pig keeper, Elionwy the princess, Flam the bard, and an abomination towards animation.

Okay, so Gurgi isn't that bad. But he's not good either. In fact, most of the characters here are either dull or just kind of tedious. Taran suffers from big dreamer syndrome, that affliction a character comes down with whenever they yearn for something more despite how undefined that dream is or how unqualified they are to actually deserve said dream. He can also be a pretty big ass h***, even to characters like Elionwy, who is essentially the humanized version of Fluttershy. And nobody picks on Fluttershy and gets away with it damn it!

It's also pretty easy to see why this movie bombed so hard. It is easily one of the scariest Disney movies ever, and believe me. That's sayin' something. But hey, at least the dark stuff that happens here actually fits with the tone of the movie, unlike The Good Dinosaur, which showed a group of pterodactyls fighting over the corpse of a bunny halfway in. Plus you've got Gurgi, who I guess kids are supposed to like. But I'm not really sure why they would. Sure, other comic reliefs are loud and obnoxious, but they also tend to have cutesy designs. Gurgi is neither loud nor cute.

I enjoyed a lot of the quieter moments like whenever Taran was sneaking around the castle, but this movie also suffers from the usual old Disney film problem where certain scenes would drag on for far too long. Did we really need a full fledged scene of the bard hopping around as a frog into the breasts of an overweight witch? Sounds as necessary as an army of elephants that we just met doing a single file inspection. Or of two characters drinking a bunch of booze and having bat s*** insane hallucinations. I think you guys get where I'm coming from.

The Horned King has to be one of the absolute coolest Disney villains ever. I just wish he could've had more screen time. Most of the time we only get information about him from other characters, or the way his henchman acts around him. But we rarely get to see the Horned King do anything himself. The best villains in my opinion are the ones who you get to see do awful things. Actions always speak louder than words. But I'm always open to giving Skeletor more movie cameos I guess.

I don't regret watching this movie though. It had enough to keep me invested for the most part, but overall is kind of a bore and not my cup of tea. Danny Sexbang, I love you, and I know this is your favorite Disney film, but I'm gonna have to recommend a hard pass here. And I'm giving this film a 5 out of 10.



Batman Ninja

You guys. This movie is freaking awesome. Granted it may have one of the dumbest premises out there, but that's part of the charm. Batman and a whole bunch of other characters from his mythos get sent to feudal Japan and by the end of the film they're fighting with giant robots operated by monkeys. I couldn't make this up if I tried, yet it's one of the most glorious things ever.

All of your favorite voice actors are here. Roger Craig Smith, Yuri Lowenthal, Fred Tatasciore, and Eric Bauza are all a** kickers as usual. We get a surprisingly wicked rendition of the Joker from Tony Hale, making this one of my favorite celebrity performances in an animated work. And at this point, I don't think anyone can really match Tara Strong and Grey Delisle's Harley and Catwoman voices respectively. So basically what I'm saying is that I need to watch more films like this one to remind myself that hard working voice actors aren't always shunned from movies.

And oh my God that animation. It is SO beautiful to look at. I am super appreciative of the movies that decide to just go all ham and get as quirky and unique with their animation as possible. Sure, it's risky and doesn't always work out, but when it works we get beautiful spectacles like this.



Don't get me wrong, Batman is an awesome character who lends himself perfectly to dramatic stories all about delving into his psyche and those around him. But at the same time, it's nice to get stories like these once in a while that aren't afraid to get a little weird with it, something I think we all take for granted when it comes to comic book adaptations. Why play it safe when you could make mind blowing off the walls works of art like this?

RB'sB: Because then we get loud mindless white noise like Batman v Superman and Justice League.

The good with the bad bro. The good with the bad. Also, there's another scene where the animation style changes that I won't dare spoil. It's one of the Joker's most fascinating moves and is also just really pretty to look at, much like the rest of this movie. And I'm giving this film an 8 out of 10.



Epic

You know what? I take back what I said about Leap and Home. This is by far the worst title to any movie I've ever seen. Like, what does it tell us about the movie? How can we use this title to distinguish it from literally any other epic? This film isn't even that epic! Why must these movies have such generic titles that make it impossible to search them on Google without being super specific with you search bar. KnowsMore from Wreck It Ralph probably hates these movies. Just call it The Leaf Men and BAM! Perfect title that stays true to the original work.

Anyway, THIS movie is about a young girl who moves in with her father, a shut-in who believes that another world exists beyond our cognitive reach. Turns out he's not crazy and there really is a race of little people who are in the middle of an all out war for control of the forest. Our heroes need to protect a flower so that it can bloom and give birth to the new heir of the kingdom before some dark bug guy can get it or something. I don't know, the plot is pretty all over the place and convoluted. I'd better get to the stuff I know best.

I am not convinced that this movie is made by Blue Sky. Blue Sky films are, at the very least, vibrant and animated. Animated in the sense that everything feels lively, not the literal sense. So why is this film, that they made, so drab and ugly? I haven't seen Strange Magic yet, but Epic has to be a contender for one of the ugliest animated movies by a big budget studio. If your character designs make me want to look at Oscar's face from Shark Tale instead, then that's how you know you done messed up son. At least the camera work was decent. It even led to some pretty well shot chase scenes. But nothing too memorable.

The characters are all pretty awful and by the numbers. Mary Katherine is such a b**ch to her dad. I know that what he's doing is a little out there, but we aren't given a whole lot of context to really show how divided these two are and what the affect of her dead mother has had on the both of them. Oh yeah, this movie also has a mom that dies offscreen. I guess some cliches just never die. Not to mention the whole problem I have with dramatic irony. We see these creatures he's been studying at the beginning, so we all know he's right, making it harder to sympathize with MK's spite towards her father. How much more intriguing would it have been if we were following MK's perspective the whole time and found out along with her that there's another world? Hell, he even shows her hard evidence that something is out there and she still doesn't take him seriously. Be a little open minded for God's sake!

Nod is fine, until of course he makes a pretty awful decision near the beginning of the climax that almost jeopardizes the whole kingdom. Ronin and Mandrake honestly aren't that bad, but I feel like these characters could've been written better for people as talented as Colin Farrell and Christoph Waltz respectively. I'm especially upset for Waltz, that man is a legend and he keeps getting cast in generic villain roles. Screen writers seem to think that if they cast a talented person who was awesome in one really famous role then the scenes write themselves. Well that's not how it works. Good writing and good acting have to work in tandem. It's impossible for both to be good on their own. Waltz is an amazing actor when you give him material to work with. Quentin Tarantino knew this, which is why Christoph did so well in Inglorious Basterds and Django Unchained. He's not even a villain in the latter!

Grub's whole character arc is that he wants to be a soldier, and by the end of the movie he's given the honor. But he doesn't do anything to earn this, making the moment feel pretty lackluster. And Mub represents everything wrong with modern animation. Loud, selfish, obnoxious, voiced by a comedian trying too hard to be like Robin Williams, you know what I mean.

This film is ugly looking, annoying, unsympathetic, and while it has a few good set pieces here and there, it's not enough to save it from the red zone. And I'm giving this film a 3 out of 10. Also Pitbull is in this movie. So that's a thing I guess.



How to Train Your Dragon 3

Now this is how to cap off a trilogy. Set a year after the second one, Hiccup and his team are setting dragons free and growing their bustling viking-dragon utopia. But a new threat causes the Berkians to go out and find a new home as well as a safe place for the dragons to stay.

I think it kind of goes without saying how fantastic looking this film series is, and Hidden World does not disappoint in that front. When they actually get to the Hidden World, the colors all pop and there's so much detail and hidden beauty to look for that even Coco would probably blush. It's a little disappointing how the Hidden World is barely in the movie. In fact, now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure we only get one scene. But at least its plot significance isn't down played.

Recently I rewatched both Dragons movies, and Hiccup has to be one of the most transforming characters in film animation. Not just in terms of personality, but also in design. He's a scrawny shrimp in the first one, and it's a great representation of how he feels out of place and out classed by everyone else. It's also a good visual representation of how divided he and Stoick used to be. By the second movie he's gotten more ripped to show how experienced of a dragon rider he is. In fact, the difference between first movie Hiccup and sequel Hiccup feels like Ike's alternate skins in Smash Bros. And in the third movie he's practically an adult, ready to pick up where his father left off in leading the tribe.

Hiccup has to deal with a lot in this movie now that he's the one leading. When you become a leader, everyone's counting on you, and you have to be prepared to make mistakes. This is a new side of Hiccup we've never seen before, and seeing the way he struggles between protecting the dragons and doing what's best for the tribe is damn intriguing. It's also nice to see others around him showing their support. Especially Astrid, Valka, and Gobber, the latter of which is at his absolute funniest.

Oh yeah, and the voice acting is pretty amazing too. Granted this series has a pretty similar problem to Anastasia where the leads don't have viking accents, but at least it's consistent here. All the kids have American voices and the adults sound Norwegian. Or is it Scottish? I don't know what accent vikings use. Plus, when the story is this compelling and the characters are this interesting and the acting is this well done, you learn not to care too much. Also, it took me until about halfway into the film to realize that Tuffnut had a different voice actor. Justin Rupple did a great job sounding like TJ.

RB'sB: What happened to TJ? Sexual assault?

Well that and a fake bomb threat on a plane while intoxicated.

RB'sB: .... Well that's new.DeviantArt Eclipse 

Ah, and how could I forget Toothless? If you weren't convinced before that dragons are basically just giant cats, then the mating dance scene is sure to do away with all your doubts. It's also not every day we get a romance between two animal characters without any dialogue. The scenes where Toothless and the light fury are just flying around and enjoying each other's company are great, and these two are so damn cute together. Take that Lion King! I know Simba and Nala are animals, but they also have human voices and are possibly cousins. Shadow Cringe 

The villain wasn't half bad either. He's in it for the thrill of the hunt, and he makes quite the bold move pretty early in the run time, something I did not expect at all. He also probably comes the closest out of all of DreamWorks' villains to straight up succeeding in his plan.

This film would be perfect if it weren't for three annoying problems. Snotlout, Ruffnut, and Tuffnut. Snotlout's entire shtick is hitting on Hiccup's mom, Tuffnut's shtick is faking a beard and acting like some kind of big brother to Hiccup (though I do like the joke where he randomly yells out "I'M WITH HICCUP"), and Ruffnut almost gets the entire dragon stock stolen. No one acknowledges this, no one calls her out, and she doesn't even show any remorse!

Fortunately the movie doesn't lose its charm or emotional resonance, and that ending is one of my favorite endings to any movie I've ever seen. And I'm not spoiling a damn thing. Thank you DreamWorks for this wonderful trilogy. I should probably check out the show just so I can enjoy as these characters as much as I can now that the series is officially done. And I'm giving this film a 9 out of 10.



Let me know what you guys think of these movies in the comments and stay tuned for a wave of new material. As well as a wave of heat. Stay frosty.


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